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the language of my body:

words and memories from a Middle Eastern Dancer

By Sara Nadira

 

 

listen

my body is trying to tell you something

(a little girl

making arabesques around the living room

her father watches, takes pleasure in her

only half aware of an audience.

instead she feels the dim evening light

enclosing around her

the Tchaikovsky serenade

rushing through her

the urgency of the sound

and the intensity of her spinning)

 

listen

my body

it speaks across time

(a video tape

an old and faded picture

of a sixth grader on a gymnasium stage

willowy sapling in a black chiffon dress

and a french braid of tawny hair

soft on her feet

she trips by like a skiff on the sea

and her arms they never stop swaying)

 

now watch her

pulling away from the dream

(a performance of Sleeping Beauty

sadness and distance

did you feel the pain of that woman's broken body

as she arched to the sky and fell

on bound beribboned feet

back to the floor

now her satin toes moves so fast

but do they need to do that to have beauty?)

 

listen

my body has something to tell you

that it's slowly breaking out of the shell

you put around it whenever

you told me it wasn't good enough

but now you listen

to new sounds

for I have learned that language of my lungs

can speak through myself

in the way my muscles circle

when I roll around inside myself

touching to the core

 

listen

to the echo of my breathing

hardly audible beneath the flourishes of the clarinet

it pulls you into me

your eyes your parted lips

your willingness

to hear

you trace a line through my rolling hips

to the taunting of the violin

and the heaving of the tabla

then I pull away from you

fall into my own world

when I only know the dim evening light

enclosing around me

the urgency of the beledi

rushing through me

and the intensity

of my spinning.

 

listen

did you hear what my body said?